Stop Dismissing Your Feelings: How to Start Validating Yourself
Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I’m overreacting” or “It’s not that big of a deal” when you’re feeling upset? Or maybe you’ve compared your struggles to others and decided your feelings weren’t bad enough to matter. This is self-invalidation—a habit that often stems from trauma, conditioning, or environments where your emotions weren’t acknowledged.
The problem? When you repeatedly dismiss your own emotions, you disconnect from your inner wisdom, making it harder to trust yourself, express your needs, and feel truly safe in your body.
Over time, this can lead to feelings of isolation, anxiety, and self-doubt. You might struggle to set boundaries, second-guess your decisions, or feel like your emotions are too much for others to handle. Instead of listening to yourself with compassion, you might seek external validation—only to feel even more disconnected when it doesn’t come in the way you need it.
But here’s the truth: Your emotions are not too much. Your experiences are real. And you deserve to feel heard, even by yourself. Learning to validate your own feelings isn’t about ignoring growth or accountability; it’s about recognizing that your emotions hold wisdom and deserve space. When you start honoring what you feel, you create a foundation of self-trust, confidence, and inner peace.
But the good news is: You can unlearn to validate yourself and start honoring your emotions. Here are three ways to begin:
1. Recognize & Name Your Feelings
Self-invalidation often starts with minimizing or dismissing emotions. Instead of brushing them aside, pause and name what you're feeling—without judgment. Try saying, “I feel anxious right now,” or “I’m noticing sadness in my chest.” Simply acknowledging what’s happening inside of you creates space for self-compassion and healing.
2. Practice Self-Talk That Affirms Your Experience
When self-doubt creeps in, challenge it with affirming language. Replace “I shouldn’t feel this way” with “My feelings make sense based on what I’ve been through.” If affirming your experience in that way doesn’t feel true to you, try turning towards it. Instead of saying “The way I feel is valid”, start with “What if the way I feel is valid?” and see if that feels more accessible.
3. Ask Yourself: ‘What Do I Need Right Now?’
Instead of ignoring your feelings, turn inward with curiosity. Do you need rest? Reassurance? A moment to breathe? Meeting your needs—even in small ways—reinforces the belief that your emotions matter and that you deserve care.
You Deserve to Feel Validated, Cared for, and Loved
Healing and self-validation take time, but every step you take towards honoring your emotions is a step towards deeper self-trust and confidence. Be patient with yourself and celebrate even the smallest shifts. You are worthy of care, respect, and love—especially from yourself.
If invalidating yourself has been your default for years, it can feel difficult to shift on your own. That’s where support comes in. If you’re ready to work through your self-doubt and step into deeper self-trust, I’d here for you. Book a free call with me, and let’s explore how you can feel more validated, supported, and connected to yourself. Click the link below to book a free call to learn more.
Your emotions matter. You matter. See if you can turn towards honoring that today. 💛
About the Author
Shai Maxine is a trained somatic practitioner specializing in helping people navigate stress, chronic pain, and emotional overwhelm. With years of experience guiding clients toward greater ease and connection, Shai offers practical tools rooted in somatic awareness and mindfulness. When not working, Shai enjoys hiking, cooking, creating art, and petting as many dogs as she can. Follow along on instagram @shai.maxine
