The Power of Feeling Into Anger
What do you think would happen if you gave yourself permission to truly feel your anger?
This might surprise you, but when we have a healthy connection to anger, it can actually feel empowering. By allowing yourself to safely express anger, you validate your own needs.
Understanding How We Express Anger
Recently, I created a poll about expressing difficult emotions, and here’s what people shared:
I’m usually numb then explode - 28% 💥
I can’t access them at all - 12% ⛔
I feel anger/shame/sadness all the time - 48% 😖
I'm not sure - 12% 🤷
Are these results what you would have expected? Where do you see yourself in this scale?
Why Many of Us Struggle with Anger
I hear from so many clients who were taught as children that it was not appropriate to express “difficult” or “loud” emotions. If the options were to hold in the anger or be punished, it makes sense that many of us now experience shame or anxiety when anger inevitably shows up.
Unfortunately, ignoring anger doesn’t make it go away. Even if we shut down or suppress it, the anger still has to go somewhere. Over time, it can manifest as physical symptoms and chronic pain.
Regulating Anger in the Body
When anger surfaces, it often triggers activation in the nervous system. Calming ourselves in these moments can be challenging, but having supportive tools in place can make all the difference.
Here are three somatic practices to try the next time you feel activated:
Diaphragmatic Breathing – This breathwork technique helps calm the nervous system by placing the body in a rest state. Breathe deeply into your belly and visualize filling your ribcage with air. Inhale for 5 seconds and exhale for 7 seconds.
Movement – When we are activated, movement can help dispel excess energy. This can look like stretching, shaking, dancing, running, walking, swaying, or any other movement that feels good.
Orienting – A great way to ground yourself in the present moment. Gently move your eyes around your environment to show your nervous system that you are in a safe space.
Finding Healthy Ways to Express Anger
When we struggle with expressing anger in a healthy way, we often forget what life feels like without feeling either angry or numb.
In my Repattern program, I help you create a space to feel anger in a slow and tolerable way. The process of releasing anger may sound intimidating, but with support, consistency, and guidance, it becomes easier and more manageable. You don’t have to do it alone.
Over time, you may find healthier ways to acknowledge and express your anger so you can stop carrying it with you. The goal isn’t to react with rage—it’s to move through and release anger in a way that feels safe and empowering.
Stories of Transformation
Sharing others' stories can remind us that we’re not alone. Here’s what a few clients have said about their journey with somatic work:
"I genuinely feel better in lasting ways and that has never happened for me before. And I've gone to physical therapy, gyms, specialists, etc. This has been the most transformative and meaningful work I've ever done. I've learned way more than I realized I would and I absolutely feel strong and more stable in my body." – Former Client
"You are the best, Shai! You helped me access so much healing, which led to me trusting myself more and living a more courageous, fulfilling life." - Recent Client
You are capable of feeling better and thriving in life!
If you know you want to find ways to safely express your emotions but aren’t sure where to start, I’m leading a 6-week virtual group program, In Tune, designed for exactly this.
Through guided somatic practices, regulation tools, and a supportive group setting, we’ll gently shift your nervous system from survival mode into safety and ease.
Click here to join.
About the Author
Shai Maxine is a trained somatic practitioner specializing in helping people navigate stress, chronic pain, and emotional overwhelm. With years of experience guiding clients toward greater ease and connection, Shai offers practical tools rooted in somatic awareness and mindfulness. When not working, Shai enjoys hiking, cooking, creating art, and petting as many dogs as she can. Follow along on instagram @shai.maxine
