Why Your Body Doesn’t Believe You’re Safe (Even When You Know You Are)
We live in a time where self-awareness and personal growth are highly valued. Many of us spend years in therapy, uncovering our patterns, understanding our triggers, and making sense of the past. Yet, despite all this insight, something feels off.
We know we are safe. We know we are no longer in that toxic relationship, that painful childhood home, or that traumatic event. And yet—our bodies tell a different story.
Anxiety still lingers. Rest doesn’t come easily. Stress feels like a constant undercurrent, even when life is objectively calm.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. The missing piece in your healing journey may not be in your mind—but in your body.
Your Nervous System Doesn’t Speak English (or any language)
The nervous system, where our stress and trauma are stored, doesn’t process information the way our logical brain does. While talk therapy and cognitive insights are valuable, they primarily engage the thinking brain. But trauma isn’t stored in our thoughts—it’s stored in our bodies.
Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, explains:
“Trauma is not found in the memory, but in the reaction.”
This means that even if we intellectually understand that we’re safe, our nervous system may still be stuck in survival mode—fight, flight, freeze, or fawn—reacting as if the danger is still present.
Why Understanding Alone Won’t Heal Trauma
Imagine a child who wakes up from a nightmare, heart racing and body shaking. You could explain logically that it was just a dream, but they would still feel scared until they experience comfort, warmth, and regulation.
Now, imagine that on a much deeper level—your nervous system has been carrying past wounds for years. Logic alone won’t convince it to feel safe. It needs something more—it needs direct experiences of safety and regulation.
This is why traditional talk therapy, while beneficial, may not be enough to fully heal trauma. Studies show that exposure-based therapies, which involve recalling traumatic events, can sometimes increase PTSD symptoms if the nervous system isn’t first stabilized (source: National Library of Medicine).
How to Show Your Nervous System It’s Safe
Since our nervous system doesn’t respond to words alone, we have to speak to it in a language it understands—through sensation, movement, breath, and regulation practices. Here are some ways to start:
1. Titration: Small Steps Toward Safety
Instead of diving headfirst into painful memories, we gently approach our edges. This might mean noticing subtle body sensations, finding what feels neutral or pleasant, and slowly expanding our capacity for feeling safe.
2. Grounding and Regulation Techniques
Practices like breathwork, shaking, and somatic experiencing techniques help discharge stored survival energy, signaling to the body that the danger has passed.
3. Reconnecting with the Present Moment
When we’re stuck in trauma responses, we are often not fully present. Using mindfulness, orienting (looking around the room and naming objects), or even feeling textures with our hands can help bring us back into the now.
4. Co-Regulation: Healing in Connection
Healing also happens in community. Nervous system regulation isn’t meant to be done in isolation—our bodies are wired for connection. Safe relationships, group healing, and guided somatic work can accelerate this process.
The Missing Link: Body-Based Healing
If you’ve been in talk therapy for years but still feel anxious, dysregulated, or stuck in survival mode, somatic healing could be the missing link. By working with the body—not just the mind—you can:
✅ Release stored tension and survival energy
✅ Feel calm and grounded, not just think about feeling better
✅ Shift patterns at the nervous system level, where real change happens
This is why somatic therapy is gaining recognition in trauma recovery. Research shows that body-based approaches, such as Somatic Experiencing and Polyvagal Theory, help rewire the nervous system for safety and resilience (source: Psychology Today).
Ready to Experience Healing Beyond the Mind?
If you’re ready to go beyond understanding your anxiety and actually heal it at the nervous system level, I’m leading a 6-week virtual group program, In Tune, designed for exactly this.
Through guided somatic practices, regulation tools, and a supportive group setting, we’ll gently shift your nervous system from survival mode into safety and ease.
Click here to join.
Your body is ready to heal, it just needs the right tools to get there. 💛
About the Author
Shai Maxine is a trained somatic practitioner specializing in helping people navigate stress, chronic pain, and emotional overwhelm. With years of experience guiding clients toward greater ease and connection, Shai offers practical tools rooted in somatic awareness and mindfulness. When not working, Shai enjoys hiking, cooking, creating art, and petting as many dogs as she can. Follow along on instagram @shai.maxine
