Why Emotional Regulation Feels So Hard
Road rage, anxiety in social settings, struggles with family—emotional regulation in these moments can feel impossible, especially if we never saw it modeled for us growing up.
Many of us were never taught how to process emotions in a healthy way, leading us to suppress them, shut down, or experience intense emotional outbursts. If feeling emotions has always led to dysregulation, it makes sense that so many people numb out, avoid vulnerability, or fear connection.
In a recent poll, 97% of folks shared that they feel their emotions are a burden and don’t feel empowered to express them. That’s an overwhelming number of people struggling with something so natural and essential to well-being.
The Cost of Suppressing Emotions
When emotions aren’t expressed, they don’t just disappear—they become stored in the body. This can contribute to chronic issues such as:
Chronic Pain – Unprocessed emotions can create tension and physical discomfort.
IBS & Digestive Issues – Stress and emotional suppression impact gut health.
Insomnia – An overactive nervous system can make it difficult to rest.
Chronic Fatigue – Emotional exhaustion can manifest as persistent tiredness.
Panic Attacks – Suppressed emotions can resurface in intense, overwhelming ways.
Learning to Regulate Emotions with Somatic Practices
If you weren’t taught emotional regulation, it’s not your fault—and most importantly, it doesn’t have to be this way forever. You can learn to recognize, understand, and appropriately respond to your emotions so they don’t control you.
Somatic work helps you engage with emotions in small, manageable ways, increasing your tolerance for difficult feelings and expanding your ability to navigate life’s challenges.
A Somatic Exercise for Emotional Regulation
Try this simple practice to feel more grounded and in control of your emotions:
Name Your Emotion – Describe what you’re feeling in detail, either in your mind, on your phone, or on paper.
Be Present with Physical Sensations – Instead of trying to change or judge them, notice where you feel tightness, tingling, or other sensations in your body.
Move in a Way That Feels Natural – Let your body respond without analyzing it. This could look like deep breathing, swaying, shaking, rocking, or any other movement that feels right.
Check In With Yourself – Observe how you feel now. Any response is okay, even if it hasn’t changed yet.
Emotions as Teachers
Our emotions and bodily sensations have so much to teach us—if we’re open to learning. Overwhelm, anxiety, and fear are common experiences, but it is possible to shift your relationship with them.
If you’re ready to step into a version of yourself that feels more grounded, connected, and free from the patterns that have held you back, know that real change is possible. Your emotions don’t have to be a burden—they can be a gateway to healing.
About the Author
Shai Maxine is a trained somatic practitioner specializing in helping people navigate stress, chronic pain, and emotional overwhelm. With years of experience guiding clients toward greater ease and connection, Shai offers practical tools rooted in somatic awareness and mindfulness. When not working, Shai enjoys hiking, cooking, creating art, and petting as many dogs as she can. Follow along on instagram @shai.maxine
