Reclaiming Your Worth Beyond Productivity
Feeling stuck or out of control can show up in your life in many ways—whether it's different types of anxiety, chronic pain, chronic illness, struggles in your relationships, or any other number of experiences.
Although these issues might appear and feel different, they all originate from the nervous system.
The Link Between Productivity and Self-Worth
I was asked so many wonderful questions during my last Q&A, I wanted to answer one here that I see coming up in my practice often: the concept of needing to accomplish, overworking or feeling the need to be productive to validate your worth.
This stems from a deep-seated sense of unworthiness and the need to prove you are lovable or deserving. It's also the root cause of perfectionism and burnout.
"How Do You Feel a Sense of Worth Without Overworking?"
Overworking and the inability to slow down are very common coping strategies and patterns so many of us have used to survive.
Compared to many other coping strategies, it’s also one that’s more widely accepted or even encouraged because of the messaging in our society that falsely leads us to believe our worth is tied to our productivity.
I've personally grappled with this issue, and it's a common challenge among the people in my programs as well.
Your Worth Is Inherent, Not Earned
Firstly, I want to remind you that your worth is inherent, regardless of how much you work or produce.
You are worthy of love, safety, and connection simply by being alive! There’s nothing you have to do to earn that.
But if you had childhood caregivers who could not meet your needs, then you will brilliantly adapt and find other ways to seek any semblance of that safety and love.
For many of us, this might have meant feeling the need to "achieve" to gain any attention or recognition from our caregivers, teachers, or others around us.
This pattern often continues into our adult lives, leading us to overwork as a way to prove our worth.
Overworking as a Coping Mechanism
As with any coping strategy, overworking serves to mask or numb the dysregulation within our systems. It's a clever and effective method we've developed to avoid confronting the underlying pain.
Healing these patterns involves teaching your system that it's now safe to slow down and that your worthiness of love is not tied to what you "do." You should never abruptly abandon your coping strategies, but instead, take small, manageable steps to replace them.
Small Steps to Reclaim Your Worth
This might mean stopping work 10 minutes earlier or postponing a response to a work email until the next day. By gradually practicing the discomfort of not overworking, you can build evidence for your system that you can slow down and still be loved for who you are, rather than for what you achieve.
You are inherently lovable and worthy exactly as you are—you might just have to show that to your nervous system to truly embody it.
About the Author
Shai Maxine is a trained somatic practitioner specializing in helping people navigate stress, chronic pain, and emotional overwhelm. With years of experience guiding clients toward greater ease and connection, Shai offers practical tools rooted in somatic awareness and mindfulness. When not working, Shai enjoys hiking, cooking, creating art, and petting as many dogs as she can. Follow along on instagram @shai.maxine
