How to Stay Regulated During the Holiday Stress
The holiday season is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, but for many, it can feel like a whirlwind of obligations, expectations, and overwhelm. Between crowded stores, packed schedules, and navigating family dynamics, staying calm and connected to yourself might seem like a pipe dream. But it doesn’t have to be. With the right tools, you can not only survive the holidays but enjoy them.
1. Recognize Your Triggers
Being around family inherently is more activating because you most likely got your triggers in development and from your interpersonal dynamics from childhood. Understanding what causes your stress is the first step in staying regulated. Is it the pressure to make everything perfect? Financial concerns? Social gatherings? By identifying your triggers, you can prepare and set boundaries accordingly.
Pro Tip: Journaling can help you uncover patterns in your stress responses. Writing down your feelings and experiences allows you to notice recurring themes. For more tips on uncovering emotional triggers, check out this guide to emotional regulation.
2. Prioritize Your Nervous System
When we’re stressed, our nervous system kicks into overdrive. Practices that bring your body into a state of regulation can make a world of difference.
Breathe: Try diaphragmatic breathing by inhaling deeply through your nose for a count of four, holding for four, and exhaling for six.
Move: Gentle movement like yoga or a walk outside can release pent-up tension.
Pause: Take intentional moments to rest, even for five minutes, to reconnect with your body.
3. Set Boundaries That Protect Your Energy
This is one of the most important ways to stay regulated during the holidays but also in general. It’s okay to say no, and it’s okay to change your mind. Seriously. Whether it’s turning down a party invitation or asking for help with holiday preparations, clear boundaries protect your well-being. Also start practicing pausing before giving an answer. It’s okay to think about if you want to do something before giving a reflexive yes or no. Use phrases like:
“I’d love to help, but I don’t have the capacity right now.”
“Thank you for inviting me. I’ll have to pass this time.”
4. Create Meaningful Moments
Amidst the hustle, pause to connect with what truly matters. Whether it’s lighting a candle for a moment of reflection, playing a board game with loved ones, or walking through the neighborhood to see holiday lights, grounding yourself in meaningful traditions can bring joy and presence back into the season.
5. Mindful Consumption: Food, Drink, and Media
Holiday indulgence is part of the fun, but it’s easy to overdo it if you are activated. Pay attention to what you’re consuming—whether it’s food, alcohol, or social media—and how it’s affecting you.
For tips on mindful eating during the holidays, check out this guide from Healthline.
6. Practice Gratitude and Self-Compassion
Gratitude doesn’t erase stress, but it can shift your perspective. Take a moment each day to acknowledge what you’re thankful for, whether it’s your morning coffee, a kind word from a stranger, or a cozy blanket.
Self-compassion is equally important. Remind yourself that it’s okay not to do it all perfectly. Speak to yourself as you would to a dear friend—with kindness and understanding.
7. Lean on Your Support System
You don’t have to do it all alone. Reach out to friends, family, or a coach for support. Being heard and seen from someone you trust is a huge part of regulating our nervous systems.
Resource: If you’re navigating challenging family dynamics, this article from Verywell Mind offers practical advice.
8. Reconnect with Nature
Even a short walk outside can help reset your nervous system. Research shows that time in nature reduces stress hormones and improves mood. Bundle up and step outside for a few minutes to breathe in the crisp air.
9. End Each Day with a Grounding Practice
How you end your day matters. A calming nighttime routine can help you release the day’s stress and prepare for restful sleep. Consider practices like:
Somatic meditation: Bring your awareness to your body and notice sensations without judgment.
Journaling: Write down three things you’re grateful for.
Breathwork: Do a simple 4-7-8 breathing exercise to wind down.
Wrapping It Up
The holidays can be a time of joy and connection, but they can also be overwhelming. By prioritizing your nervous system, setting boundaries, and leaning into what truly matters, you can navigate the season with more ease and presence. Remember: it’s not about creating the perfect holiday but about showing up in a way that feels true to you.
Share this post with someone who could use a little more calm this season
About the Author
Shai Maxine is a trained somatic practitioner specializing in helping people navigate stress, chronic pain, and emotional overwhelm. With years of experience guiding clients toward greater ease and connection, Shai offers practical tools rooted in somatic awareness and mindfulness. When not working, Shai enjoys hiking, cooking, creating art, and petting as many dogs as she can. Follow along on instagram @shai.maxine
